While we all want relationships to last forever, hence why consideration collars are often used before permanent collars, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes the s-type needs their collar to be taken off. Usually when you hear stories of an uncollaring or end of a dynamic it’s often very dramatic and traumatizing but the reason an s-type is uncollared could be anything that would end a vanilla relationship. A lot of uncollarings occur because needs are no longer being met, they’ve fallen out of love, or simply because they weren’t as compatible as they thought.

How a collar gets taken off can depend on the people or the situation. Some it’s a short and simple removal as the s-type moves out; it’s simply a formality. Sometimes it’s the s-type ripping it off to free themselves or a close friend helping them. Sometimes it’s a ceremony in which the D-type removes the collar from the s-type. A ceremony could be public or private and include anything that those involved decide.

Devyn and I decided to do a ceremony of sorts. It wasn’t elaborate; we expressed gratitude to each other and that even though it didn’t work out that we didn’t regret this relationship. I knelt before him for the last time and then he took the collar off me.
Our original plan was to do it on the back porch of my parents house, I had hoped to have my leather sibling there, and I would’ve had a little more to say, but after some processing we both felt the collar needed to come off sooner. I’ll be honest I would have preferred to go the more actual ceremony route, since it could have given a little more closure, but I’m glad we decided to do it sooner.
Kneeling before him that last time and having my collar taken off was an interesting moment. I can best describe it as a bitter sweet. I was sad that this was a signifier to the end of a dynamic, one that we had both hoped would work, but there was also a weird sense of relief. I’m not sure relief is necessarily the right word, but it definitely brought the closure I needed.

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind of adventure and self discovery and I don’t regret a single second of it.

in love and leather